It's Been One of THOSE Days...

Today was not ok. Today was one of those days that a single mother dreads. Today was a day when pain is palpable, a day you want to spend crying, screaming, pounding the wall and asking the heavens why you were picked. Why was I picked to go  through this? But you can't cry, you can't lose your composure. You have your child to consider. Today was a beautiful day outside, inside however, was gloomy. I decided the only cure was to get outside with my child and soak up the early spring weather. I was completely wrong in my thinking. Everyone else had the same inclination towards the outdoors - namely families. Families with a mummy and a daddy and their SUV sized strollers, mums with their latte in the stroller cup holder, daddies with the family dog. There I was, no daddy, I have the dogs but not enough hands to walk them at the same time. Everywhere I looked I saw the families, smiling, cuddling families. It's kind of like when you want the latest Apple product but you can't buy it yet, you see it everywhere, it seems everyone and their grandmother has one but you. I am furiously jealous of them, though I know that, statistically at least, half of these couples don't make time for a proper conversation, or rarely have intimate relations, or maybe even dislike each other. Today was my pity party and I was the only guest who turned up.
                On a more amusing note, I fell down a flight of stairs with a pile of laundry and my 6 month old daughter laughed her head off. That's when I left my pity party. I couldn't stay at the party because I couldn't invite her, wouldn't invite her, it's not a party a child should even have the slightest idea that her mother is attending. So here I am. Still flapping both wings furiously trying to survive each day. I need to welcome the weak days because I need them as much as I need the days that I feel strong (which gladly outnumber the weak days). I need to feel weak so that I can recognize and appreciate when I feel strong.
               So I don't have what it seems everyone else does and that's ok. I do realize that I have more that most and one thing that no one else ever will, something more priceless than the finest jewel, my daughter. (I'm definitely going to use this to embarrass her when she is a teenager lol)