Judgy-boree

I love taking my daughter out with me ever if its to the grocery store. Just yesterday I headed to my local Fresh Co. for some basics, milk, bread, chocolate, the usual. I plunked my daughter into the front of the cart after struggling with the quarter release mechanism and causing HUGE distress to the guy in the suit trying to get a cart because he was clearly very important and in a big hurry...I digress. I pushed her around the store singing, talking and making weird faces at her to make her giggle and forget that we were doing something very boring. I look certifiable but I don't give a damn. I finally made it to the check out line and waiting patiently while I continued to entertain my daughter. From behind me I could feel a deadly cold creep across my body, like the Grim Reaper running his finger up my back and turned to lock eyes with a woman who I swear has never smiled once in her life. She may have been around 60 years old, placing her within a generation who has seen sexual revolution, Vietnam, Equal Rights, in short, a crap load of rapid societal change. No tolerance on this one. She slowly allowed her eyes to creep up and down my body, taking in the tattoos, piercing, and lack of wedding ring, her eyes flicked to my daughter oblivious to the judgemental inspection from June Cleavers evil alter ego. If anyone else was watching her face they would have assumed that I had just farted. In my opinion, it is nearly impossible to look at my child and not at least smile but she resisted. I had been judged.
          This whole process took mere seconds but she had me pegged as do the many people I catch doing the same thing. How do I know? I used to do the same thing. I admit it. We all do it, most of us unknowingly. Being on the other side of the fence now makes me realize how quick we all are to judge others without knowing the circumstances. I know I don't look like a "conventional" mum (is there one in today's day and age?) but it doesn't mean my daughter was "an accident" or that I got knocked up by a guy named Joe that I met at a club one night, or that I am not a good mother (my kid likes me anyway). It means that I was once like you but then things changed, for the most part it was out of my control. I wouldn't wish my situation on anyone but I do caution the smug, there but for the grace of God go you...You may think your daughters marriage is happy and successful, so was mine; you may think your husband would never leave you after having a child especially, I thought so too; or that it can be prevented, it can't.
      I suppose the point of this tangential rambling is that being thankful for your good fortune is vastly different to being smug and superior. We all judge each other, its part of our DNA, but do not judge so harshly, you never know the true secrets of a woman and mothers heart and what twists of fate lead her to this point in her life.